When I think about my shadow, sometimes I will get nauseous and remain in disbelief. Then I reel myself back in and remind myself that I am nothing without my shadow. I couldn’t be who I am today without the darkness. That’s because it’s the part of me that needed work. (Insert “Work-in-Progress” sign). It’s the part of me that f*cked everything up. It’s the part of me that hurt and caused me to hurt others. I have many shadows or maybe it’s just one multi-faceted shadow, but without it I could not shine my light so brightly.
The energy of the The Devil card is what keeps us stuck. Whatever negative thoughts get put on a loop inside our minds that corkscrew us deeper, manifest as addictions or unhealthy attachments. Addictions and unhealthy attachments create chaos in our lives. Addictions come in many forms. Most people associate addiction with hard drugs, alcohol, smoking, and sex. But people are addicted to not-so-obvious things such as social media, gaming, television, and porn. And don’t forget about sugar and caffeine. And unhealthy emotional attachments present as co-dependency in relationships– clinginess, control issues, and jealousy. Then there’s anxiety and fear. Fear is one of the biggest things that keeps us stuck. The Fool had to let go of fear before he could move forward. All these things keep us trapped by The Devil. The Devil is an illusionary cage bound by illusionary chains. You’ve always been able to break free, you just didn’t know how. That’s why you made stupid decisions (or made no decisions at all), and hurt yourself or those around you. When the Devil keeps our shadow’s grip on us, we can’t learn and grow unless something happens that shakes our world and forces our hand.
That’s where The Tower comes in. The energy of The Tower is that of collapse and ruin. Whatever structure was standing is crumbling because it just isn’t sustainable any longer. Major life events tend to shake our world the most and create the most change. Things such as losing a job, a break up or divorce, or loss of a friendship are collapses of the structure of your life. Maybe a natural disaster destroyed your home. In more extreme cases it can be the death of a family member, friend, or pet; or some other dramatic event or tragedy that strikes your family or circle of friends. Sometimes the collapse happens as a direct result of your shadow and The Devil is pulling the strings. Sometimes it’s because of someone else’s shadow. Sometimes collapses just happen but regardless of the cause, they will create a shockwave in your life. The shockwave will either force you to take a look at yourself and promote change, or it wasn’t strong enough. And The Devil’s hold is so great and your shadow is so dark that it requires a deeper and more extreme Tower collapse.
But The Tower is not limited to major collapses. It shows up as little things as well. It shows up as cancelled plans or a failed project. Maybe your business venture didn’t work out. These less extreme collapses still cause a re-direction in your life. There may be smaller lessons to be learned, or you need to re-evaluate what’s important in your life and prioritize. Maybe your shadow likes to give up easily and your lesson is to pick yourself up and try again.
So when the collapse happens, in whatever form it may take, and you do some self-reflection and gain some self-awareness, there’s a moment where you are forced to acknowledge that your life can no longer go on the way it has been. Things have to change. And you realize, now, that in order for things around you to change, you must change.
Now we can introduce the energy of the Death card. Since you now acknowledge you must change, you know that the old must die. Old ways of doing things, old perspectives, old behaviors must die. You must shed your old skin. And this shedding allows for something beautiful to be reborn. There’s a new you, underneath all that old, ready to shine in the light. The Death is the dying of the old self. The rebirth of the self allows for the rebirth of everything around you. As a tropical scorpio, I am no stranger to rebirths. I’ve experienced several in my lifetime so far and look forward to new ones. When you learn, you grow. When you grow, you change. When you change you can reform your life. You can reform relationships, build, and create.
But your shadow will always be there even if it’s just a reminder of how brightly you can shine.
Inspired by my own shadow–I will be releasing a new project in the near future titled Shadow Work where I created artwork burned with the energies of The Devil, The Tower, and Death Major Arcana tarot cards. These cards fit so beautifully together to express how we, as human-souls, learn, grow and change when we are forced to examine our shadow selves in the face of adversity, loss, and tragedy; and finally experience rebirth.